A Vision Based Approach To Well-Being For ADHD Moms

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A few years back I posed the question to a group of moms about how you know when you’ve been slack on filling your cup or, in other words, how you know when your self-care efforts (or lack of) are not supporting you and I loved this response “The dragon starts talking”.  Karen confided that when she slacks on her self-care “I get crabby, the negative self-talk amps up and the overwhelm sets in.”

As moms with ADHD we know that it doesn’t take much to unleash the dragon.  And, I don’t know about you but that’s exactly what it feels like to me.  Once the dragon is unleashed it takes a great deal of energy to reel her back in. 

As I say this I think about how a doctor once told me that it’s easier to stay ahead of pain rather than getting rid of it because once it’s gained momentum it’s challenging to turn it around.  It’s the same thing with the dragon.

One of the most loving things we...

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4 Pillars Of Well-Being For ADHD Moms

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ADHD is complex and treating the symptoms is different for every single mom who has it (and every kid too).

Since there is no magic bullet for ADHD it requires taking a holistic approach to treat it.  Treating ALL of ourselves.

The 4 Pillars of Well-Being are physical, mental, emotional and spiritual and each aspect is as important as the other.  They make up all of who we are.

4 Pillars Of Well-Being For ADHD Moms

If you aren’t already, consider adding 1 or more examples from each pillar into your self-care practice.

 

  • PHYSICAL WELL-BEING

 

nutrition/supplements/meds (when appropriate).  Think ADHD brain health.

hydration

exercise

rest

physical touch

other physical treatments

 

 

  • MENTAL WELL-BEING

 

rest your mind (mindfulness/meditation)

simple systems to hold information (the mind is not a container)

feed the mind empowering messages

give your mind something to focus on, like a life vision, or it will run amuck. 

hire a coach...

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Mental Self-Care For Moms With ADHD

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We all know what physical hygiene is.  I can list off at least 5 things off the top of my head. 

But, when I ask moms about their mental hygiene I get blank stares…crickets

The thing is, mental hygiene is as important if not more important than physical hygiene.  It’s all about taking good care of your mind.  For our purposes here, mental hygiene is a part of your mental self-care.  Research shows the intricate connection between the mind and body so, when you’re taking care of your mind you’re also taking care of your body.  A double hit of self-care.

The mom mind, especially the mom mind with ADHD is unique and beautiful and requires a bit more intentional care. 

I mean, The mind is a powerful tool .

It keeps your family alive.  It keeps your household running.   And, it can be used to create incredible things.  

5 Mental Self-Care Tips For Moms With ADHD

There are several things we can do to care for...

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Vibe Care For ADHD Moms

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I learned the hard way that our kids are watching us…always.

 

They are learning how to navigate life by watching us with their eyes, ears and hearts.  

 

Sometimes it’s as if by osmosis.  No matter what we are expressing on the outside, they can feel what we’re feeling on the inside.

 

That’s why I truly believe that vibe care is the most important and overlooked aspect of self-care, especially as moms with ADHD.

 

What’s a vibe?

 

Vibe is short for vibration.  Every emotion vibrates at a certain energetic frequency.  

Higher feeling emotions like joy, gratitude, love, appreciation, enthusiasm, optimism and hopefulness vibrate at a higher energetic frequency.  A higher vibe emotion feels expansive in the body.  You might feel a lightness in your step, an opening in your heart space, your gaze floats up rather than down.  When you are feeling expansive you are more closely...

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If You’re a Mom You Need A Vision Board

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Motherhood is no joke, especially when you have ADHD. 

In fact, it’s the hardest job on the planet. 

And, in this day and age of constant distraction, there is almost a gravitational pull towards overwhelm. 

As a mompreneur with ADHD, adolescents with ADHD and aging parents, I know all about it!  It’s an easy trap to fall into. 

To guard myself against the O word, I connect with my vision (it’s full of everything I love) every day and have picked up vision boarding again. 

I used to play around with vision boards in the past.  Using a cork board to pin up random pictures that caught my eye.  They were a lot of fun to create but not very useful.   

You see, a vision board is a powerful visual tool (when done right).  There is an art and science to creating an effective vision board.  It’s taken some tweaking, some trial and error, but I’ve got it down. 

NOW, I create one...Every....

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Motherhood is a Spiritual Journey

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Children open our hearts to more love and compassion than we ever thought possible.  They also open our hearts to vulnerability, fear and overwhelm like we've never experienced before. 

Motherhood is a spiritual journey (especially when you add ADHD).  It is “full catastrophe living” at its finest (thank you Jon Kabat-Zinn).  

I wouldn’t have believed it if you told me before I had them.  No one can quite prepare you for the beauty, the fear and everything in between. 

Nothing in life brings up our unresolved fears, hurts, anger, sadness, resentment, insecurities, trauma, abuse…like motherhood.  All of our wants, needs and shortcomings from childhood come screeching forward.

You see, our children are our greatest teachers.  They are mirrors into our souls.  They push our buttons and show us what we need to work on.  They give us unlimited opportunities for growth. 

We can either resist what they are...

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Finding the Time For Self-Care In Mom Life

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I swear I’ll never say it again…

I don’t know about you but before I had my kids I used to think I was so busy.  “I don’t have the time”, I’d say.

And then, when my youngest started Kindergarten, I started a business, did a 9 month yoga teacher training, bought and renovated a house and one by one we moved our parents to town.    

Again, “I don’t have time,” I’d hear myself saying.  Sometimes out loud but mostly in my head.  Apparently I did have the time though because I accomplished all of those things.

Now, more than ever, we have to be creative and intentional about creating space in our daily lives to recharge and renew, especially as moms with ADHD.  

We have to make ourselves and our self-care a priority.  We have to “put our masks on first”. 

I found that the most important time in my day is the ME time I give to myself.  Through a lot of...

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How to Overcome Overwhelm in Mom Life

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Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction), wrote the book Full Catastrophe Living when he and his wife were knee deep in raising their kids.  It’s about being your best self in the midst of the chaos of parenting. 

And, for goodness sake, let's stop comparing ourselves to the neurotypical families that make up most of the population.  

The chaos doesn’t go away but we can choose to see it differently, even with our ADHD minds.  To bless the mess rather than resisting what is.

5 Tips For Overcoming Overwhelm In Mom Life

1.       Breathe and reset – There is a quiet place within you.  Take 3 deep belly breaths to reset your nervous system.  Breathe in through the nose for 3 and out through the mouth for 6.  And, in the process you’ll be providing your organs with oxygen rich blood. 

2.       Move your body – Movement is a natural energy changer.  You...

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When Mom Life Feels Impossible Choose a New Thought

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My son’s birth was a turbulent time for me.  I found myself going down the rabbit hole in my mind…a lot.  You know that place I'm talking about... 

  • The dreaded what ifs.
  • The darkest places a mind could go.
  • The thoughts I'd never ever share with anyone.

I used to stay there.  In fact, I spent much of my 20s there.  It was a pattern of thinking that had run deep grooves in my mind.  I had a hard time seeing the light (having ADHD has a tendency to do that).

Life is interesting isn’t it?  The yin and yang of this human experience.

Light and dark

Good and bad

Possible and impossible

We are conditioned to believe that it has to be one way or another.  But, what if what we are telling ourselves is not true?

It was Henry Ford who once said “whether you think you can or you think you can’t you’re right.”

What if we could see the good in the bad?

Shine the light on the dark?

Create the possible out of the...

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Take Your Yoga Off The Mat And Into Mom Life

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I was having a day yesterday and lay in bed awake last night (not unusual for this ADHD mind). 

I was feeling out of sorts.

Anxious. Worried. Sad.

Lots of different feels in a day. 

So, I got up and settled into the sofa with a book and let the feelings come. Feeling the anxiety, feeling the worry, feeling the sadness. 

I sat with it. Looked at it. I felt it.

Then I remembered how I felt on my mat in the morning. Strong. Confident. Connected. Peaceful.

I sat with it. Looked at it. Felt it.

And, I started to feel better.

It got me thinking about how living a vision driven life is a lot like taking your yoga off the mat and into Mom Life.

It's a practice. It's a moving toward what you want rather than pushing away from what you don't. 

5 Steps for Bringing Your Yoga Off the Mat and Into Mom Life

  1. Notice where your feelings reside inside your body.  Allow them to be uncomfortable.  Instead of giving in to the urge to get rid of them, let them be...
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